When I was younger, I kept blogs incessantly. I documented every funny moment of my life. I went to look for them and they were still there!!! You have to keep in mind that I was between 12 and 15 when I wrote these so some grammar and spelling is off but the meaning is intact. These are a couple from that blog. I skipped some of the boring and the ones that I sounded like a nerd. I hope you enjoy :)
28 July 2009
OKay so I just got back from West by God Virginia. Gosh that place is backwards. Especially my family.
My momaw (as I call her) was ranting how I should be lady like and clean my daddy's house. Okay, I went in that house maybe 4 times in the 6 weeks I was there. So, I wasn't going to help a grown man clean up his own mess. All my momaw knows is cooking and cleaning. Aka the perfect wife. It drives me up a wall.
She told me one day men don't clean. They work. Fire built in my stomach. We got in a argument that could've woken the dead. My father came in "to resolve the issue".
Daddy: "Deanna, aren't you going to help you're daddy?"
Deanna: "You messed it up, you clean it up."
Momaw: "Men don't do those things. I wished your daddy could find him a nice woman."
I thought I was going to scratch my eyes out.
Daddy: "You're just like your mother Deanna! I spent $200,000 on this house for your mother and she never cleaned it!"
Just before I blew up, my 10 year old sister popped it saying "Daddy, I bet you didn't clean it either."
HOw can you be mad at that? lol. It was so funny.
My momaw (as I call her) was ranting how I should be lady like and clean my daddy's house. Okay, I went in that house maybe 4 times in the 6 weeks I was there. So, I wasn't going to help a grown man clean up his own mess. All my momaw knows is cooking and cleaning. Aka the perfect wife. It drives me up a wall.
She told me one day men don't clean. They work. Fire built in my stomach. We got in a argument that could've woken the dead. My father came in "to resolve the issue".
Daddy: "Deanna, aren't you going to help you're daddy?"
Deanna: "You messed it up, you clean it up."
Momaw: "Men don't do those things. I wished your daddy could find him a nice woman."
I thought I was going to scratch my eyes out.
Daddy: "You're just like your mother Deanna! I spent $200,000 on this house for your mother and she never cleaned it!"
Just before I blew up, my 10 year old sister popped it saying "Daddy, I bet you didn't clean it either."
HOw can you be mad at that? lol. It was so funny.
10 May 2009
The best thing in life is the stupid stuff that happens that you just can't help but laugh at.
For example, last week I was brushing my hair and my annoying 10-year-old brother sticks his nose into my back and hangs there. He says, "Deanna, you smell REALLY good." I went to say thank you but, before I could say anything at all he continues: "Deanna, you smell like new pool floaties!" ummmm...... okay bub, uh thanks.
In December, I made a trip to Brooke's casa to escape my house for half an hour or so. When I get there, we sit down on her bed to have a conversation as usual. Brooke pops a jolly rancher into her mouth. And I said something that was apparently hilarious to her and she laughs so hard. She then spits out her jolly rancher out onto my bare leg. yuck Brooke. I pick the grape hard candy and put it back into her mouth.
Not long after this, me and Brooke had went to a show and I was planning on spending the night with her so, I got my clothes from my house and went walking to hers (considering it is less than half-a-mile away). Of course it was late, pitch black, and cold so, I was running. I decided to take a short cut through the corner yard and was still running. It was late January and all the leaves were all off of the trees and so they were perfectly matched into the night. Just so happens there was a skinny tree in this corner yard. I didn't see it until I ran into it.. oops.
Sometimes laughing is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy.
For example, last week I was brushing my hair and my annoying 10-year-old brother sticks his nose into my back and hangs there. He says, "Deanna, you smell REALLY good." I went to say thank you but, before I could say anything at all he continues: "Deanna, you smell like new pool floaties!" ummmm...... okay bub, uh thanks.
In December, I made a trip to Brooke's casa to escape my house for half an hour or so. When I get there, we sit down on her bed to have a conversation as usual. Brooke pops a jolly rancher into her mouth. And I said something that was apparently hilarious to her and she laughs so hard. She then spits out her jolly rancher out onto my bare leg. yuck Brooke. I pick the grape hard candy and put it back into her mouth.
Not long after this, me and Brooke had went to a show and I was planning on spending the night with her so, I got my clothes from my house and went walking to hers (considering it is less than half-a-mile away). Of course it was late, pitch black, and cold so, I was running. I decided to take a short cut through the corner yard and was still running. It was late January and all the leaves were all off of the trees and so they were perfectly matched into the night. Just so happens there was a skinny tree in this corner yard. I didn't see it until I ran into it.. oops.
Sometimes laughing is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy.
11 December 2008
SO, its the end of the semester for us Challenger Nerds. Showcase portfolios are finally freaking over! (Those things are so completely pointless.) NOW ITS TIME FOR EXAMS.
This school totally stresses me out. Everytime I hear the word portfolio I think I'm ready to jump off of a boat with bricks strapped to my ankles. Well, its not that bad but, its pretty close.
This time of year I seem to always be in a hurry!
Everyday I go to my friend Brooke's house to fetch my siblings. (They stay with her because you can't leave 9 year olds by themselves.) On the way out the door yesterday I grabbed a snack sized piece of Hershey's dark chocolate.
Well, I decided that walking was taking too long so I popped the candy into my mouth and started running. It wasn't long until I was out of breathe. (by the way, its harder to run in the cold.)
I took this deep breath through my mouth and inhaled the chocolate. So, I was standing in the middle of someone's yard hacking and holding my throat choking. I was almost laughing imagining the peoples faces who were watching me. Then I took this final cough that was probably heard a couple blocks away and the entire piece of candy flew from my mouth to like ten feet away.
Quite impressive it was.
After I was done choking I ran to Brookie's house and told her about my ordeal. My brother, my sister, brooke, and I were all rolling in her floor laughing.
No, you think I'm joking. Lol.
Completely serious.
28 October 2008
On Sundays at my house, everyone's home. Me, my uncle Tigger, mommy, Tammy, Delaney and Matthew. Everyone's watching football. (And by the way, football is just buff men in tights rolling around on the ground.)
Anyways, my uncle Tigger comes out of the bathroom and yells at me telling me how ridiculous that I look and how that I shouldn't be let out of the house the way I was dressed and my little brother asks, "Tigger? Are your SHORTS ON BACKWARDS?"
Uncle Tigger looks at his shorts and says, "Well, I guess they are".
Five hours later tigger was walking around with a different pair of shorts on and... guess what... they were on backwards again.
And I'm the one who dresses funny.
24 October 2008
I'm such a stupid manner ninja.
My bubby was chewing loudly and I hate when people chew with their mouth open. It freaking Drives me insane. I yelled at him, "DON'T CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL". He nodded and just stared at me blankly. He was no longer chewing. Then everyone laughed.
I had no idea what I said... gosh, me and my non-attentiveness.
9 October 2009
Okay, there's this new sophomore at school. His name's Kevin. I'm sure if you go to my school you've heard of him. Gosh, who hasn't? He is insanely ignorant.
About a month ago I met him. I was on the bus to school and I was sitting by myself in the seat. He asked me if he could sit with me and since he was polite about it I said yes. He started making friendly conversation. He asked me what my name was and how my day was going and I continued to talk until things were silent. After that I put my headphones in to listen to my music. My first impression of this idiot was that he was just a harmless nerd.
I WAS SO WRONG! A week after that I was standing in Physical Science before class started drawing on the board, Kevin walked up to me all sweet and poetic like.
He came up and asked, "Your name is Deanna, right?"
I answered yes considering I am Deanna.
Then he looked me in the eye and said, "You look so much more beautiful up close than from afar."
And being the jerk that I am I said, "I already met you..... LAST WEEK."
Poor kid got scared and started to walk away but then, as if he had a normal thought and he asked me how I would rate his entrance.
I said, "Six because you forgot my name."
Oh but, THIS ISN'T THE ONLY THING THIS CRAZY KID DOES.
A day or two later I was talking to Amber Rose about it and she jumped up and yelled, "HE SAID THE SAME THING TO ME!!" He had apparently told every girl that! What an idiot.
AND THEN.
Yesterday I was in a bad mood. Really Bad mood. After I had finished my MAPs Testing I walked up the hallway and I caught a glimpse of Krazy Kevin and began to walk faster. I was not ready for his thick Hispanic accent.
All of a sudden I heard, "Hey Deanna, why are you walking so fast? Why are you walking so fast Deanna?"
I wanted to yell and say, "BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO AVOID YOU." I decided to not say anything, instead I kept my mouth shut. Kevin: "Why do men not carry you? Why do men not carry you deanna?" Me: "I'm perfectly capable of walking thank you." I then feel him touch my hair and before I could think I snapped at him, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" He walks away awkwardly and apologizing. He is so weird!! He also comes up with these weird pickup lines like, "May I check your tag to see if you were made in heaven?" Would this bother you?
Funny Story^ I ended up being really good friends with this guy during my senior year of high school.
14 May 2008
Last year when I applied for Challenger, I thought it was going to be absolutley horrible. And I have to admit, it wasn't far off. But, I met alot of people and made alot of new friends.
The first person I met at Challenger was Kelly Lail. She looked the least intimidating. Me and her got so lost the first day! I found it funnier after I found where I was going. Getting lost on College campus is less fun than you might think.
Later I met my friends Jeni, atta, ashley richmond, shanice and lots of other people. OH, gosh, I found out the other day that I scared most of the people I met at challenger the first few weeks. I even intimidated Keener!
Later in my freshman year I met Michael, who is my best friend! I lost some friends but i gained alot more. (now it sounds like playing black jack. lol)
and Even later than that I met Danielle. I love her a lot. Maybe not in the same way but, she's become a very close friend to me.
I'm glad I went. I guess my choice wasn't as idiotic as I had once thought.
26 April 2007
My dad told me this story....
He was sitting on my grandparents porch and then my 'momaw' walked out onto the front porch and said, "It's awful hot out here but the birds seem to enjoy it!" She walked over to the swing and sat down. My Daddy said "Yeah, just a minute ago I seen a red-bird." And I bet you can guess what she said next!! She said, "Well, what color was it?" He laughed and as he was walking away he said, "No, momma I believe it was Blue...."
27 April 2007
I was at my fathers/grandparents not very long ago and my 'momaw' (as I call her) was walking through the house and I said "Hey momaw, Do you want to go to 'Wet pets FISH WORLD'?" and then in her moment of stupidity said "Are there fish there?!"
I love your posts! That's really great that you've been writing for so long! You really do it well, so keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in high school, I took a trip up north with my uncle and a cousin or two (all guys, btw). We drove through West Virginia for some reason or other (even though we lived on the eastern side of NC--I think my uncle just wanted to drive a different way than he usually did going up north). Anyway, in the middle of the night, we stopped at a donut shop in WV. There was a drunk guy in the shop who, when we asked what state we were in, had a wonderful time shouting at us that we weren't in West Virginia, we were in "West, BY GOD, Virginia!"
It's been MANY years since that trip, buy my uncle and I only have to look at each other to crack up over that incident!!!! I'm so glad I learned the true name of the state.....don'tcha know!!!!!!
haha. I'd like to know where the "by God" originated for sure. It's everyone's favorite way of referring to their home... and they're all crazy! It's a completely foreign place to Hickory, NC. And believe me, I prefer here rather than there. :)
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